Yes, you really can make all your decisions based on Oregon Trail

A friend of mine recently mentioned that since she isn't so good at making her decisions for herself, she decided to start making them based on Oregon Trail. How does this work you might ask?

Well I did and the explanation went something like this :

I figure the game can't do worse than I do at making my decisions. When I pressed her for an example she said that she recently decided to become a Buddist because the game told her to. How it works is simple. You have a decision to make, simply assign each choice to a player, set them marching, and the last one alive must be the correct choice.

I decided to put this to the test. Using her example I asked myself ( or rather the game ) what God is right for me.

I decided that my main choices were Jesus (Christian), Allah (Muslim), Buddah (Buddism), Brahma (Hindu), or Atheist (None). I also considered putting down the Jewish God, but didn't know the name off the top of my head and was too lazy too look it up.

After picking these five and starting them on their journey I decided to make it a little bit more challenging, partly because I have a short attention span, and partly because if it was easy anyone could do it, and these are God's we are talking about

Old

New

A grueling pace and bare bones diet should do the trick. In fact it should be no trouble at all.

So continuing on the journey, it started out uneventful. After coming to the first river crossing I was hopeful, but alas all made it accross safely. Not so with the second river crossing. Maybe it was their steadily deteriorating health, maybe it was the fact that since they left in March the river was too deep and too fast. But do you know what I really think it was? Karma.

And then there were 4

So with the load lighter, the karma better, and our hopes uplifted the journey continued. After taking some time out for the obligatory slaying of random animals, we pressed on

Unfortunately it seems that with the death of one of their comrades, the other's spirits began to wane. Disease followed disease. Suprisingly, Allah got dysentery. I didn't even know he used the bathroom.

Finally Brahma left this world. Oh well, maybe he should have taken a break from all his creating, maybe rested every seventh day or so.

It seemed like once you break the seal, the deaths come fast and furious. After Brahma, Atheist was quick to follow.

The funny part was they even tried to play it safe and take the ferry. However it broke and Atheist drowned. I guess God just wasn't on his side.

And then there were 2. It looks like a classic battle between these two deities. I expected a war of epic proportions.

Sadly, I was disappointed.

So as the final brave soul was laid to rest I was left with one clear victor. Did Jesus triumph because of luck? Was it divine intervention? Or does the game Oregon Trail simply favor the leader of the party, figuring the kid playing it has put their name there and if he dies they will stop playing?

I do not know the answer to those questions. I leave them to you.