While I was out running Tuesday night I thought about dinner, and
decided that I would make sloppy joes for Travis and I. I was pretty
sure that there was a can of Manwich in the cupboard. Sure enough, there
was.

I had just gotten done cooking the hamburger in the trusty iron skillet,
and had the Manwich can in hand, when I heard a horrible bone-chilling
noise from the living room. It was one of the dogs, throwing up.
Wonderful.

Now, hearing a dog throw up in the living room is unpleasant at the
best of times, but when such a nasty event occurs at dinner time and
when that dinner happens to be sloppy joes, it is particularly
unfortunate.

Nevertheless, I was able to draw upon my vast past experience in
changing diapers and face the challenge undaunted; even, dare I say,
with certain savoir-faire. Having cleaned up the mess and washed my
hands - about a dozen times - I returned to the kitchen.

I noticed that the top of the Manwich can was a little dirty, so I
wiped it off. I picked up the can opener and - but wait - there was
still a spot on top of the can.

Hmmmm. How did I miss that? So I picked up the towel again and very
carefully cleaned the can once more, till there were no spots left. Then
I picked up the can opener and - but wait - there was that pesky spot
again.

Uh-oh. Sure enough, there was a small hole in the can, where it had
apparently rusted through. So I pitched the Manwich can and rummaged
around in the cupboard for something else, and came up with some Food
Club brand of sloppy joe mix. But that can, although not obviously
leaking, was covered with rust spots as well. Taking no chances, I
pitched it also.

Hmmmm. Now what? Well, I spied a container of enchilada sauce. Aha!
Enchilada sauce is almost the same as sloppy joe mix, right? They are
both red, right? Both tomato based, right?

I examined the enchilada sauce closely. No sign of rust. Now, this may
have been due less to the freshness of the sauce and more to the fact
that it was a jar instead of a can, but hey, I was happy. Into the
hamburger it went. Not quite enough, though. It didn't cover the
hamburger all that well.

To the refrigerator! Yes, an opened jar of pizza sauce, only slightly
used! And still red! Still tomato based! It will work! I just needed to
add a little bit of it to the hamburger.

Of course, since it was cold, it poured slowly. Drip.... Drip... A
little shake of encouragement. Drip... Another shake. GLOP!

Hmmmm. Now the hamburger was TOO covered. Ah, well, we'll cook that
extra sauce down in no time. A little extra heat. No problem. Actually
when you have to scrape things off an iron skillet, it's a good thing.
It picks up that extra iron. Good for the blood.

Finished! "Travis," I called, "The sloppy joes are done."

Travis, who had watched the whole process as a welcome respite from his
homework, expressed his appreciation in a simple, touching phrase:

"I don't think so, Dad."